Exactly.

Sounds perfect!

If I could find this on the door of a church, I would go in.

Happy Sunday!

Yes, I make jokes about being nearly paralyzed by depression*

My journey through life has been fraught /slash/ gifted with a Chronic Condition which, of its own accord, sometimes succeeds in changing my view of reality altogether.   { boo, hiss }

For about three months, I've been on the low side of things.

For about two weeks,  I've been on the *very* low side of things.


Sadly {pun intended}, this is not new territory, so no worries here.  Worries - no, but stifling sense of stagnation and suffocating defeat, yes.  {roll eyes..."Oh, honestly, again?!"  'Yes, Grasshopper, again.'}  


Please know it's very well-managed and I'm very well-versed in meds and therapeutic techniques and mood voodoo and action creates reality and all that so I'm NOT seeking advice here ... { I should have an honorary PhD in psych for the time  and ca$h I've spent on the couch }.


I'm just sayin'.


I feel as though a change may be coming.   And /slash/ or I am forcing a change.  Which is NOT easy.  Trust me.

Let me be clear - I am not predicting or hoping for a change of 'happiness' - not at all - but a change, a turn, a zig or a zag which will help jolt things in a new (though unknown) direction.

These jolts help make the intolerable insidiousness of Mental Illness tolerable.

So. I'm sayin'
beggin'
makin' happen
-- good gravy, please, brain chemistry, jump a synapse - throw me a chemical bone with which to wiggle the waters with SUMTHIN'!

~ ~ ~

{   The easiest label is Major Recurrent Depressive Disorder.  Other diagnoseeez through the years abound, the most accurate of which may just be Rapid Cycling Reverse Bi Polar.  Try saying that three times, and fast!   }


* If I don't laugh, I shut down and off and freeze and that is simply not an option with two kids, a husband and two dogs.

So. Here Goes...

I debated a bit over different names for this 'blog' thing.

"Occam's Razor" was right up there.  After all, the simplest explanation is almost always the case.  Especially when it comes to people.  Yes, dear friends, people reveal who they are sooner or later. The $60K question is 'do you believe them when they do?'

{Go ahead, take a moment. It's worth one.}

Even though I am a dyed in the wool skeptic of most everything and everone, I want my blog to have ~some~ glimmer of hope.  (And humor, too, if ya didn't quite pick up on that.)  So, no to Occam. This time.

"The Sassy Phoenix" because I am sassy (sardonic, really) and Phoenix because I have been reduced to ashes and have risen from the dust many, many times (illness mostly, but failure, too).  I don't like the two words together, though.  Nope.

My very favorite quote of all time* I discovered at the already burgeoning sardonic and bright-cheeked age of 15: 

The unexamined life is not worth living.   ~ Socrates

That little gem resonated in my soul from the moment I laid eyes upon it.  Think about what you do.  What you think and what you DO matter.  Take inventory of your inner workings and your outward actions. These things matter, dammit.  

'Sugar' ~ ~ ~  I used to bake a lot ('used to' => full circle, Phoenix moment here).  And, after all, life is sweet.  Even though I'm a skeptic and sarcastic and logical and rational, I do know that.


And, so, there it is, then: Socrates and Sugar.  I think it's a pretty good summation of me... for the moment.

* I have recently found another quote that rings equally true in my soul.  I hope you stay tuned for that blog-isode, friends.